Keurig Is The New Modem

Wednesday, 29 December 2010
  • By
  • Jeff Ammons
  • Tags:
  • Humor
  • Non Fiction

That title doesn't make sense.

Keurig is a coffee maker and a modem... isn't.

If titles could be as long as blog posts I would have said, The Sound A Keurig Coffee Maker Makes When Brewing The Liquid Fuel That Is My Addiction Is The New Replacement For The Sound Of A Modem Connecting.

Say what?

You young'uns won't remember the special thrill of hearing a modem singing it's love song to various BBSes and eventually the internet (my bad, teh internetz).

That sing-song chirp-fest meant you were about to tap into a rich vein of... well mostly chat, email and "door games".

Ha! Door games are now an obscure reference.

It's what we did before Flash and FaceBook.

Door games were simple games that a BBS could drop you into after you connected.

Legend Of The Red Dragon!

Yeah! Interestingly enough many of the FaceBook games are just spam-tastic versions of old door games.

You take a certain number of turns each day and other players do the same.

The big difference now is that the apps SPAM the LIVING Be-Jebus out of all your friends who don't know how to ignore them.

My children have grown up with the internet having always been an always on, always connected resource.

That means the sound of a modem connecting would be... annoying at best.

However, our new Keurig coffee maker with its wheezing, gasping, spitting sounds of forced coffee production is a different matter.

In the few days since Christmas I have already begun to experience a Pavlovian reaction to that sound.

Originally it sounded like the poor machine was in some form of respiratory or intestinal distress.

Now it sounds like tasty rocket fuel is about to hit my bloodstream.


So that, my friends, is the long, round-about explanation of how the bear lost his tail, er, the Keurig Is The New Modem.